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WHEN ONE IS EXPECTING

imyourdestinymotherfucker:

Today, I bought this book (for my sister, lets clarify that now ‘cause the only way I’m going anywhere near sperm is if I fall into a vat of it):

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BUT WAIT

THIS:

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IS:

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SOME:

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OF THE BRILLIANT:

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STUFF IT HAS IN IT:

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(via salemexplainsitall)

callmeoutis:

i was ready to just scroll past like “haha grammar humor” but then it was weird al and i,

(Source: iraffiruse, via salemexplainsitall)

alynu:

trebaolofarabia:

life-at-taco-bell:

You would think that teenagers would be the rudest customers when really it’s mostly old, middle-aged people. 

Teens always look terrified as customers.

I am always terrified as a customer.

(via toocooltobehipster)

dannerzz:

my mom has been a cop for over 20 years and she is the one who constantly warns me about police aggression and young male cops and told me that if you’re ever alone on a rural road and a cop throws their lights on to put on your four ways and drive to the next gas station before stopping because so many cops are scum and it’s not worth the chance of getting hurt. the fact that SHE feels the need to tell me this shit scares me to death

(via sheikahstone)

toki-yo-tomare:

barbeauxbot:

unsuccessfulmetalbenders:

was this movie even real

this movie is called Kung Fu Hustle and you owe it to yourself to watch it

(Source: bunchesopunches, via pricklylegs)

africancheewahwah:

The fact that most guys’ first response to a woman wanting equality is “SO CAN I HIT U NOW” is sort of terrifying
Like that’s the first thing you’re concerned about? I just want equal pay and you want to punch me in the face? Cool cool

(via absolutelydelightful)

snaps7:

snapslikethis:

queernymphadora:

snapslikethis:

riversnogs:

riversnogs:

That moment in your childhood when you realize that Diagon Alley is just the word diagonally….

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And the Mirror of Erised is just the word desire backwards.

Didn’t even realize. Does that mean Knockturn Alley is nocturnally (dark/night)?

Yes, and Grimmauld Place is a play on grim old place. 

DUDE.

And Dumbledore is just a dumb old door

(via seanlikesthings)

lunalovelock:

list of cute things

  • you
  • also you
  • hey look you
  • and you
  • wait wait wait
  • you
  • you’re cute

(via seanlikesthings)